How my Client Started Shifting Default Behaviours (And is now reaping the rewards).
Setting boundaries as a business owner can be hard when it requires you to shift long-held behaviours. You know it’s time they go, but it can be easy to give up. It feels hard at the start.
I caught up with a former private coaching client recently. We did a lot of work on her developing healthy boundaries with herself and others. On building self-awareness and self-leadership through understanding her Human Design. And by learning the Human Design of her team. The goal was to move from being a lifelong people pleaser and overworking to thriving in her business and life overall.
As someone who works so quickly and can see where things are going way ahead of everyone else, it was so helpful to understand that her team operated differently. And that neither was right or wrong- just different.
But at the beginning of this ‘journey’, it wasn’t easy. It never is. Because we’re re-writing the behaviours that have been in place for decades.
The benefits accrued when she started and could see the perks of healthy boundaries. She started loving the changes to both her business life and personal life. But she had to embrace the beginning to be where she is now. She had to be prepared to be a beginner at it. To fail forward, as they say.
I should know.
As a former (massive) people pleaser, I had zero boundaries. In fact, it was inner work I needed to do right in the infancy of my coaching and business. Because I couldn’t say no to anything. I jumped whenever someone needed something (in all areas of my life). And I knew I wouldn’t get far if I didn’t walk my talk and learn how to do things differently. But oh. my. god. was it HARD! Like really hard. I also had a stack of anxiety so that wasn’t helping.
When my clients want better boundaries but feel so uncomfortable setting them in the beginning, I get it! And, you will never believe what’s possible if you don’t start. You’ll be hooked once you get some runs on the board and see the benefits.
– No more jumping when anyone needs anything
– Creating crazy timeframes that nobody else even asked for, but you volunteered? Gone.
– See you later to working ALL the hours and running yourself ragged
– No more getting annoyed that other people aren’t on the same page because you’ll understand yourself so well. (Hello, Human Design- I wish I’d known this back in the day!)
– Ditching resentment because people are taking advantage of your generosity
– And literally, so much more.
Hearing this former client share how she’s doing now was the BEST! She was prepared to get stuck in, unlearn default behaviours, start with small steps to better boundaries, and learn how to communicate these. Now she reaps the rewards. If you’re beating yourself up about your boundaries, don’t. They won’t improve because you berate yourself. Shame keeps you stuck.
But start. Start small. Start with something that doesn’t matter too much. And make sure it doesn’t have a high emotional load (extended family is usually the hardest!) You never know where you’ll be in time but you need to start to get there. Look up your Human Design chart as a first step. Once you know your Type, begin to put boundaries in place to preserve your energy. That piece alone is a game-changer.
If you know you won’t be able to do this solo, you’re not alone. Book a 1-hour 1:1 Human Design session where we focus on boundaries by design. Or subscribe to my weekly newsletter for more tips, insights and juicy boundaries and Human Design gold.
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